Thinking so much for these few months; I guess I really love and miss you. Who else would want to know about me more than myself? Who else would I want to talk to more than you?

The decision that I made 2 months ago wasn't easy.. But what really happened? Up till today, I cannot fully understand. What kind of feelings would have made you gave up something which both of us worked considerably hard to build up and communicated?

Probably, I just don't give the sense of security for someone to be able to spend her life with me. Or maybe, we just don't have a common aim...

当哪里都是满满的回忆, 我只能忍着那即甜蜜又苦涩的滋味流穿过我心房。

Just like I happened to say out what was really in my heart. This overwhelmed feel.. Feels terrible.. This lousy feeling which I cannot get rid of and it's affecting my work.. Damn..

But indeed.. It's just like a big part of my best part of my life is gone..

I guess you are probably the next best thing that happened to me, other than me being in a blessed family..

It has nearly been 1 and a half months. Thinking about our relationship progress has always been on my mind. We want to be with each other, and yet, there seems to be something which is stopping us.

Fighting for you seemed to be a choice which will get you to be more vexed. All I've always wanted is for you to be happy..

Probably, I might not understand how you feel. That last night we met up, it was certainly a bad day which started with the pack up, and then the meet up. I hoped things would return to the way it was, but I knew it was hard, for you and for me.

Reliving our past moments during that night was bittersweet, as I knew it might be the last time we would have held hands and hugged. It was painful and yet sweet..

Please take care over there. I still love you..

That dream, it just felt so real.

That grip, it just felt like it really happened.

That warmth, I totally felt it with my own hands.

That squeeze, it made reminded of the past again..

With exception of the experience of falling off in my sleep, other dreams never felt so real like this one..

Life is just so full of uncertainty.

Who knows what would happen the next moment, or what is coming to happen in the coming days or years?

Just when you thought life has very much settled down and you are getting prepared for another phase of life; fighting really hard to for a future that belongs to not only you. You get hit suddenly right in the face, and you fall flat down in the face. What next then?

I wonder if anyone really has such traditional thinking like me anymore, where having a family bring about the motivation to rise up in your career. Where family is more important than the job, where being together is more important than having freedom, just because you enjoy it.

It seems like a far away dream which won't be fulfilled anytime soon. I don't know if it's just laziness, or no interest, or just simply, given up hope.

天时不如地利，地利不如人和 (Being in the correct place is better than the correct timing. Having a good relationship with someone is better than the being in the correct place). I guess sometimes these sayings have truth which we ourselves don't realize it until we look back at the things on hindsight.

Time past fast, but it still hurts. One and a half months has past but it still felt fresh. It doesn't strangle but it still chokes. The previous one took two years. I don't have so many two years left. I guess.

What do I want to fight for? Who do I want to fight for?